Too Close for Comfort?

[ILoveMyLVN 0]

Hi Everyone~

 

My question is about hugs for the residents.

 

I know part of our profession is to improve happiness in our residents, who are often down and depressed. A lot of this in what we do is through our activities that we provide, connections with the community through special events, and other ways we help them to experience life to their fullest practicable level. Often we are their best "cheer leaders"

 

Being an AD, or in activities department as as assistant, we often get close to the residents and want to cheer them up. One of these ways if by hugging them or encouraging pats on the back, or so forth.

 

My problem is that while many have no odd reaction, some of them can get the wrong idea. One of my patients tried to kiss me the other day when I was meaning to give them a sideways hug for encouragement...This was awfully awkward and now I am rethinking hugging them altogether. Maybe a squeeze on their hand would suffice better in the future?

 

Yikes!!

[BillinDayton 0]

Probably a case by case basis...

 

There are some residents you can give the occasional hug of support to with no problems, but there are also some residents that you just can't do that with.

[themusiclady 1]

I think the best people I see at this work are very comfortable with both personal touch and boundaries.

 

With practice it is relatively easy to turn the face aside and let a kiss on the mouth become one to the cheek, or redirect someone who touches a personal part of the body in a positive friendly way which does not embarrass or reject them.

 

Personal contact is something people will often need in the contexts of their home being an institution or terminal illness and bereavement, for some people that's holding them, another person a smile or touch on the hand or arm will be enough.

 

It's about developing empathy skills, it takes time to be really good at reading what others need and responding appropriately.

 

I grew up in an unaffectionate home and one of my first posts was as a social worker with adolescents. I quickly learned that when those children hugged it was a big deal, it meant they trusted me, so I received their affection with humility and attention for the words they needed to share which often followed.

 

I feel the same about when people touch me now: I can always respond with warmth and love as I redirect them if necessary. Tone of voice makes a lot of impact in conveying respect, compassion, affection and concern.

 

For people whose hugs become clingy handshakes often work, or holding out both hands at arms length.

 

The key is that the person feels accepted, heard and loved- think of that as the function of the interaction.

 

~Tracy

Edited August 17, 2008 by themusiclady

[Tamera 0]

Hugs are a way of showing affection and of course comfort to some individuals, but as an AD, one should be CAREFUL. I have worked with some residents who've passed sexual remarks and made sexual gestures towards myself, which makes me aware that I do not want to get that close. Too close for comfort may definetly turn into a problem, if not dealth with beforehand.

[Daisygirl1179 0]

I understand that touch can be awkward especially if you grew up in a untouchy home like my own.

 

I honestly feel touch, eye contact, and tone of voice is the best way to reach someone. I know there are certain residents that are sexually inapproiate and I stay clear of them. I mainly rub on the back and on the knees. It really wakes them up. Sometimes the response is a kiss. I turn my head and recieve the kiss on the cheek. I like to feel that they think I am their daughter.

 

I also give hand massages. I have activity assistants who wear gloves when doing this. I think it counteracts the benefit of the massage if you are wearing gloves.

 

Touch is important. I think it seperates me from the rest of the staff.